Everyone has wants. Things they want, people they want, things they want to do, places they want to go, the list goes on and is limited and created, really, by everyone's own mind. As we get older the things that we want in life get bigger and more expensive even though our wallets or skills may not be able to match them, that's a fact of life that we have to come to terms with in our own ways and that can be vastly different for each person.
For me lately the problem I've found is that I want to do something but I lack, usually, the money to do it but also the time or availability to do it and I feel that this is having some consequences that I had never forseen or expected.
The entire subject of 'wants' revolves around a few things in my life at the moment and one of the particularly worrying things is friends. There are things that my friends want to do as a group that include me that I want to do for many reasons (I haven't seen them in a while, the things they want to do are fun, my friends are fun to be around, I've not been doing much lately etc.) but as much as I want to do them there's one hindering factor to it all: I can't afford it. Well I can afford to do one of the things they want to do, so I am exaggerating slightly, but on the whole I just can't afford to do everything they want to do.
'Get over it' is what one person might say, 'Borrow money from someone' is what another may say. To both of these people I would say 'No'. I refuse to 'get over it' because these people are my friends, they matter and so I shouldn't just brush the problem aside. I refuse to 'Borrow money from someone' because I won't be able to pay it back for a while, it's not fair on who I'm borrowing from and some people may not even be able to lend me money. The fact that I can't do everything I want with my friends is disappointing, that's true, but it's just something that I'll have to deal with because I can't change it. I'm not always going to have the money I want to do the things I want...but that doesn't mean that things will be like that all the time, sometimes I may have more money than I want and be able to do everything I want, it's just unfortunate that this time I don't have the money I want.
Money's a huge factor in things as much as I wish it wasn't...but that's not the worrying thing about this scenario. What's worrying is that as a result of me not being able to go I fear that some friends will think I'm avoiding them or have no interest in them when that could be farther from the truth even though it may not seem like it. The friends I have are amazing and some have been with me for 5 years, it wouldn't make sense to avoid them so of course I'm not doing that. As much as I want to do things with them things just aren't right for me right now and they've been difficult in the holidays otherwise I would've tried to do more.
It's the biggest hope of mine right now that things change once the college term starts because not only will I be out more but I'll have a bus pass again, so travelling around will be a cost I don't have to worry about or compensate for. Unfortunately that's still a very long week away.
If I had to apply anything I've learnt from this scenario to life then I'd probably have to say this:
What you want isn't always in your practical reach...but don't let that get you down because things won't always be that way, just be realistic, know your limits and hope that any people it affects will understand your situation.
Given the number of birthdays and the holiday season coming up in the next few months (Christmas may only be in December but you just know they'll have snowmen out at Halloween) I may not have a lot of money coming my way...but I hope that I still have my friends and I hope that's not a hope that I'm keeping in vain.
-Aiden
Saturday, 21 August 2010
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Boredom
Boredom: A lack of stimulation to keep the mind occupied or amused. We’ve become such an advanced race that can talk to people 3,000 miles away instantly, fly into space and even predict the future (of the weather, I mean, though not with 100% accuracy) yet we still succumb to such a primitive state and need to be entertained, almost like children. It might not be a bad thing, though. Boredom makes us seek new, different things and once upon a time did someone not say ‘variety is the spice of life?’ It seems to me that it’s a need that’s built into our psyche since the dawn of time and it makes sense once you think about it.
All around us we’re bombarded by the fantastic and the unrealistic: ‘Avatar’, ‘Harry Potter’ and even the musical stylings of Lady GaGa give us a sense of variety and unrealism to our lives. Further thinking upon this has led me to ponder something bigger though. What if the variety we crave is not variety at all but escapism? The need to be anywhere but ‘here’. Assuming that this is the case, I then pondered that perhaps deep down in our subconscious minds we all have the desire or the need, the compulsion, to run and escape from wherever we are. A good example of this is the typical teenager constantly dreaming of bigger things, the day they leave home or the day then can travel the world. They have constant thoughts, desires and dreams to escape. Just where exactly would they be escaping from or to though? It could be a plethora of things depending on the person or the situation. It could be from parents, as in the above example, or purely to be somewhere more exciting so it’s safe to think that the place and purpose changes for each person. An inquisitive mind may seek answers, a religious one may seek enlightenment and someone with a dark past may seek an escape from that.
The first thing that came to my mind was the thought that this constant desire of escapism, no matter what, is the human mind constantly trying to be away from the one thing it can’t: The World.
In a strange twist of thought the world both gives and takes away boredom as we try to both escape it and explore it. The world is finite, though, with many limitations and rules of both reality and man that bind us. Perhaps the best place to recede in these times of boredom is into ourselves, into our own minds where there are no limits, only boundaries that we ourselves place there. It is from the mind that our escapist arts of film, music, books and images stem from, brought into the real world with tricks and manipulations to make them seem real. They all came to be real but they started in the limitless, escapist reality of our minds. Further revelation now makes me think that perhaps our desire is not to escape the world but, for some at least, to transform the world and bring the unhindered world of our minds to reality.
When I set out to write this I was bored, ironically. Retreating into my mind to ponder the lack of entertainment has stirred up quite a number of different, dare I say, interesting ideas that I hope you also find interesting. For now though I must end here. My parents want me to finish writing and, in further irony, are getting bored and have decided to play cards. For those of you now thinking ‘well they’re not retreating into their minds at all’ I draw this to your notice: Without the mind giving meaning and rules to those cards then there would not be a game at all to abate boredom =)
- Aiden
All around us we’re bombarded by the fantastic and the unrealistic: ‘Avatar’, ‘Harry Potter’ and even the musical stylings of Lady GaGa give us a sense of variety and unrealism to our lives. Further thinking upon this has led me to ponder something bigger though. What if the variety we crave is not variety at all but escapism? The need to be anywhere but ‘here’. Assuming that this is the case, I then pondered that perhaps deep down in our subconscious minds we all have the desire or the need, the compulsion, to run and escape from wherever we are. A good example of this is the typical teenager constantly dreaming of bigger things, the day they leave home or the day then can travel the world. They have constant thoughts, desires and dreams to escape. Just where exactly would they be escaping from or to though? It could be a plethora of things depending on the person or the situation. It could be from parents, as in the above example, or purely to be somewhere more exciting so it’s safe to think that the place and purpose changes for each person. An inquisitive mind may seek answers, a religious one may seek enlightenment and someone with a dark past may seek an escape from that.
The first thing that came to my mind was the thought that this constant desire of escapism, no matter what, is the human mind constantly trying to be away from the one thing it can’t: The World.
In a strange twist of thought the world both gives and takes away boredom as we try to both escape it and explore it. The world is finite, though, with many limitations and rules of both reality and man that bind us. Perhaps the best place to recede in these times of boredom is into ourselves, into our own minds where there are no limits, only boundaries that we ourselves place there. It is from the mind that our escapist arts of film, music, books and images stem from, brought into the real world with tricks and manipulations to make them seem real. They all came to be real but they started in the limitless, escapist reality of our minds. Further revelation now makes me think that perhaps our desire is not to escape the world but, for some at least, to transform the world and bring the unhindered world of our minds to reality.
When I set out to write this I was bored, ironically. Retreating into my mind to ponder the lack of entertainment has stirred up quite a number of different, dare I say, interesting ideas that I hope you also find interesting. For now though I must end here. My parents want me to finish writing and, in further irony, are getting bored and have decided to play cards. For those of you now thinking ‘well they’re not retreating into their minds at all’ I draw this to your notice: Without the mind giving meaning and rules to those cards then there would not be a game at all to abate boredom =)
- Aiden
Relationships Revisited
If you’ve read a post of mine a few entries back then, I believe, it will mention a certain someone in my life that likes me and whom I like back. To update the gossips among you, we have decided to stay friends for now, though I feel that this is quickly changing and some of the conversations we’ve had as of late have led me to question relationships and my views on them.
To dive right in at the deep end we talked about sex. ‘Intercourse’, ‘shagging’, ‘the horizontal monster mash’, yes, sex. We weren’t talking about sex as if one of us had just said ‘So, Saturday night. How about it? ;)’ it wasn’t like that at all, it did come up in the conversation as a natural change of subject. I refuse to say what subject preluded it but it wasn’t anything sinister or bad. Anyway, we were talking about sex and this person said that just because we weren’t dating that sex wasn’t wrong and that it could even help. Confused, I asked how and their reply was that it could help start a proper relationship between us.
Now my view prior to this was that a relationship that started from sex would never be a lasting one and so it should not happen. I think that sex is a part of relationships…but it shouldn’t rule it and a relationship should not be purely about it. It can be nice, I admit, but my fear is that if a relationship became too focussed on it then it will ultimately amount to nothing. Afterwards, though, I started to ponder my views on relationships as well as what this person had said and I came to a few conclusions.
First, that my views on relationships weren’t necessarily ‘right’. Every person, situation and relationship is different and what works for me and one individual might be completely different to what works between me and a second individual. So I thought that perhaps having strict, set rules or views towards relationships wasn’t the best attitude. Looking at it from this point of view I managed to justify it: I’m young and I don’t know everything about relationships including what’s the best or the worst ways to start them. With that in mind how can I have strict, set views so early on? My conclusion was that I should perhaps be more easy going and open minded about these kinds of things because I’ve never experienced them before and, well, they could be good for all I know.
My second realisation was that sex wouldn’t really be the start of a relationship between the two of us. It might help to directly pinpoint when a romantic relationship ‘officially’ started but we’ve been friends for a while now, which is a form of relationship, and for the past few weeks there has been the awareness between each other of how we feel. So although sex might be a way to physically pin point when the romantic part of a relationship begins, we’ve been ‘dating’ in a way for the past few weeks since we knew of each other’s feelings and we’ve been friends that have enjoyed each other’s company for a few months before that.
I’m not under any assumptions or impressions that a relationship with this person will last forever because people and things change and I can’t predict the future (if I could I wouldn’t be writing a blog, that much I know!)… but I would always prefer a longer relationship to a shorter one and I really like this person. What’s preferable or ideal is not always an option though, so whatever happens between me and them will happen however it does. I can hope, want and wish as much as I like but only time will tell. It may amount to nothing or it may amount to something… but it seems that time will give me my answer soon enough.
- Aiden
To dive right in at the deep end we talked about sex. ‘Intercourse’, ‘shagging’, ‘the horizontal monster mash’, yes, sex. We weren’t talking about sex as if one of us had just said ‘So, Saturday night. How about it? ;)’ it wasn’t like that at all, it did come up in the conversation as a natural change of subject. I refuse to say what subject preluded it but it wasn’t anything sinister or bad. Anyway, we were talking about sex and this person said that just because we weren’t dating that sex wasn’t wrong and that it could even help. Confused, I asked how and their reply was that it could help start a proper relationship between us.
Now my view prior to this was that a relationship that started from sex would never be a lasting one and so it should not happen. I think that sex is a part of relationships…but it shouldn’t rule it and a relationship should not be purely about it. It can be nice, I admit, but my fear is that if a relationship became too focussed on it then it will ultimately amount to nothing. Afterwards, though, I started to ponder my views on relationships as well as what this person had said and I came to a few conclusions.
First, that my views on relationships weren’t necessarily ‘right’. Every person, situation and relationship is different and what works for me and one individual might be completely different to what works between me and a second individual. So I thought that perhaps having strict, set rules or views towards relationships wasn’t the best attitude. Looking at it from this point of view I managed to justify it: I’m young and I don’t know everything about relationships including what’s the best or the worst ways to start them. With that in mind how can I have strict, set views so early on? My conclusion was that I should perhaps be more easy going and open minded about these kinds of things because I’ve never experienced them before and, well, they could be good for all I know.
My second realisation was that sex wouldn’t really be the start of a relationship between the two of us. It might help to directly pinpoint when a romantic relationship ‘officially’ started but we’ve been friends for a while now, which is a form of relationship, and for the past few weeks there has been the awareness between each other of how we feel. So although sex might be a way to physically pin point when the romantic part of a relationship begins, we’ve been ‘dating’ in a way for the past few weeks since we knew of each other’s feelings and we’ve been friends that have enjoyed each other’s company for a few months before that.
I’m not under any assumptions or impressions that a relationship with this person will last forever because people and things change and I can’t predict the future (if I could I wouldn’t be writing a blog, that much I know!)… but I would always prefer a longer relationship to a shorter one and I really like this person. What’s preferable or ideal is not always an option though, so whatever happens between me and them will happen however it does. I can hope, want and wish as much as I like but only time will tell. It may amount to nothing or it may amount to something… but it seems that time will give me my answer soon enough.
- Aiden
Comfort
What is comfort? As far as I’ve been able to describe it in general terms, comfort is a feeling of neutrality or wellbeing in regards to a situation. When moving towards specifics though you soon realise that comfort is not restricted to a situation and it is not necessarily determined by how you feel but, rather, your feelings are an indicator of how comfortable you are.
For example: A man hands you a gun and tells you to shoot someone. The reason you (hopefully) would not shoot the person is because you have firm morals that tell you not to and you know it to be a bad thing and so you won’t do it. You will feel uncomfortable or negative about this situation but the reason you feel uncomfortable is because your morals disagree with the situation. Your feelings are reflecting your moral disagreement and this is uncomforting for you.
From this example we can take that morals are one deciding factor on comfort, right? Other factors I’ve found to affect comfort are obvious, expected things such as the feeling of things around you and conversations or imagery but there are some more subtle things that affect comfort such as mental outlook and health. What made me receptive to noticing these things is because, lately, I’ve been having trouble sleeping and I’ve found the entire ritual of sleep very uncomfortable and sleep to be quite distressful. The reason for this is that I realised not too long ago that I’d been having a recurring dream. It does not happen every night but it happens occasionally and it’s a dream that reflects my subconscious, I feel, or it coincidentally reflects some fears and insecurities I’ve had for quite some time now.
In this situation I’m feeling uncomfortable with sleep because it has given me bad experiences and I don’t want to undergo them once more, so fear here is a subtle factor for comfort. After this realisation I began to look out for more ‘factors’ of comfort and determined some of the aforementioned few.
For the curious among you, by the way, my dream is waking up covered in deep purple stretch marks all over my body. This is horrific, for me, because I can recall when I was younger and fatter and I wasn’t really aware of my body in the slightest…but then one day I noticed some stretch marks on my hips but didn’t think anything of it. When I got back from a two week holiday I looked at them again and they had gotten bigger, as had I, and there was a long, deep, purple mark on the lower part of my stomach. The feeling of embarrassment and shame for letting my gluttony consume me as it had will never leave me and, if I ever feel like I’ve gained weight, I still look at myself to check that I don’t have any. So it’s safe to say I have a few body issues, that’s true, but I had never considered it to be deep set enough to manifest itself as a recurring dream and it’s only when I realised it was a recurring dream that sleep began to scare me.
Relating all of my digression back to comfort, though, my discomfort with sleep will probably not go away completely until I’ve dealt with those underlying issues that are causing it. I suppose a good first step to doing that is actually admitting the problem I have: I have a recurring dream brought on by body issues. How I can deal with it after this, though, is not going to be as easy and I’m not entirely sure how I might do it. There’s only one way to do it though and that’s to try. So try, I will.
- Aiden
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
Relationships
It's inevitable that at some point you'll find someone that you feel strongly about. Whether it's a crush or actual love you may one day end up in a relationship or contemplating one and that's when things get complicated and confusing. There are a lot of factors to consider for a relationship, realistically, but there are also your feelings to think about...that's what's so confusing and turns what should be easy into a terrifying choice: Do you listen to your heart or to your head? Emotion or logic?
As human beings we have the uncanny ability to make split-second decisions and become so smart that we can do the huge feats of flight, planetary exploration and saving lives...but when it comes to love, everyone's a fool. I'd like to think that I'm a logical person and that I can present a well balanced argument to come to a conclusion that makes sense. Hopefully you noticed the words 'I'd like to'. Obscuring any specific details, as I like to for this blog, there is someone I like that likes me back and we have discussed the idea of dating (though not in such a business-like way as I seem to write it). After this discussion is when my heart and my head began to fight it out and, so far, there's no winner.
My heart tells me that love could be good, it tells me that I like this person and that I should, for once, go for love and enjoy what it might bring...but there's also the possibility that things might not turn out well, so emotionally I feel reluctant because I don't want to get hurt. Nothing's certain or factual, but it's emotional and emotions make up for a lot...so I shouldn't ignore how I feel.
Cardiac muscle aside though, my cranial cavity is toiling away at my conundrum to no avail weighing up the pros and cons. This person doesn't smoke, they don't do drugs, they live close by and we have similar interests...those are all things/qualities that I've said, for a while, someone I date must do/have. I get on with this person like a friend and I've always had the view that at the core of a good relationship is a great friendship, so I dunno if we've got a 'great' friendship but we have one and it works. This person has said that they like to drink, though, and that's when my doubts started to sprout. Drinking doesn't make a bad person, I know that, and I'd be hard pushed to find a teenager that doesnt like to drink, so I don't really have a problem with it... but this is where my heart and my head start to link, I guess, because although I know it's not a problem I can't shake a worried feeling about it. Whether I'm right or wrong, it's there, and it says something about me.
I've never been good at making big decisions, I overthink things, worry and doubt myself so much that it become impossible. So what should I do? It seems like it's another gamble. Should I bet it all and risk losing, or fold and stay safe? I just don't know.
-Aiden
As human beings we have the uncanny ability to make split-second decisions and become so smart that we can do the huge feats of flight, planetary exploration and saving lives...but when it comes to love, everyone's a fool. I'd like to think that I'm a logical person and that I can present a well balanced argument to come to a conclusion that makes sense. Hopefully you noticed the words 'I'd like to'. Obscuring any specific details, as I like to for this blog, there is someone I like that likes me back and we have discussed the idea of dating (though not in such a business-like way as I seem to write it). After this discussion is when my heart and my head began to fight it out and, so far, there's no winner.
My heart tells me that love could be good, it tells me that I like this person and that I should, for once, go for love and enjoy what it might bring...but there's also the possibility that things might not turn out well, so emotionally I feel reluctant because I don't want to get hurt. Nothing's certain or factual, but it's emotional and emotions make up for a lot...so I shouldn't ignore how I feel.
Cardiac muscle aside though, my cranial cavity is toiling away at my conundrum to no avail weighing up the pros and cons. This person doesn't smoke, they don't do drugs, they live close by and we have similar interests...those are all things/qualities that I've said, for a while, someone I date must do/have. I get on with this person like a friend and I've always had the view that at the core of a good relationship is a great friendship, so I dunno if we've got a 'great' friendship but we have one and it works. This person has said that they like to drink, though, and that's when my doubts started to sprout. Drinking doesn't make a bad person, I know that, and I'd be hard pushed to find a teenager that doesnt like to drink, so I don't really have a problem with it... but this is where my heart and my head start to link, I guess, because although I know it's not a problem I can't shake a worried feeling about it. Whether I'm right or wrong, it's there, and it says something about me.
I've never been good at making big decisions, I overthink things, worry and doubt myself so much that it become impossible. So what should I do? It seems like it's another gamble. Should I bet it all and risk losing, or fold and stay safe? I just don't know.
-Aiden
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Is it really worth it?
Upon writing this I'm slightly annoyed and frustrated, so I may regret some of the things that I write, but it's brought out a question in me that I feel is important:
Is it really worth it?
What I'm referring to here is, well, doing anything. Recently I've done exams and revision for my final GCSEs and the exams alone, for me, add up to around 20 hours of solid work so I dread to think what the figure is when you factor revision into it. It's fair to say, I reckon, that I've been doing a lot of work and, honestly, it's not easy. Fortunately for me I'm now at a point where I've got a week between now and one exam, so I'm taking this opportunity to relax for a bit while leisurely revising as opposed to tearing my hair out revising for 5 exams in just as many days. That's not to say that I've done nothing apart from revise and work.
Around the house I do the odd jobs that need doing, I wash up, I clean the bird, put out laundry, iron and try to tidy up in general. Obviously I don't do this every single day (well, the washing up I do most days) but I try to do at least one thing each day just because I feel I should. Admittedly I have my faults with housework, I may not do enough or I may not get around to everything as soon as my Mum wants it done, but I do it or I least make the plans to do it. That's a lot more than some teenagers I know do (none of my close friends, I hasten to add) and if I have plans to do it, but then someone does it before me, I personally don't regard that as a fault of mine. I could have done it the second I was told to and, when I can, I do, but the point of me planning to do something is because I can't do it there and then. It's constantly debatable whether I'm the wrong party or not in a situation like this, but that's digressing from my ensuing point.
The result of me not doing one thing that's asked of me as soon as it's asked of me, is that my parents get frustrated, angry and generally act unpleasant towards me for the day. I find that quite childish because I see it in this way, as biased as it may be: They've asked me to do a job for them, I've not got the time so I plan to do it later, they go ahead and do it themselves and then complain that I didn't do it. Surely if they were that bothered about having me do it, they'd let me do it as opposed to taking charge and doing it themselves before I've got the chance to. It's their reaction towards me afterwards that provokes the question:
Is it really worth it?
Is it really worth doing a job a day if, the one time I don't do a job, they turn on me? It doesn't seem that way.
Is it really worth doing all the work I do at school if at home it doesn't matter and no-one acknowledges it? It doesn't feel that way.
Is it really worth dealing with their reaction when I firmly believe I've done nothing wrong? No, it's not, which is why instead of arguing about it with them I'm pondering the wider implications of this question and letting them simmer down.
In previous posts I spoke about going with the flow and being who you truly want to be, so applying these messages to this question I think I can say this:
Is it really worth it? If it matters to you, yes. If you feel strongly about doing it and you want to do it, then yes. The work I do at school matters to me because I want to do well in life, so it's worth it. The jobs I do at home make me feel like I contribute and they do make an un-noticed difference, so it's worth it. It may seem self centered and/or self obsessed to have this opinion, but if you don't consider yourself and all you find is negativity to your answer...then sometimes you have to receed into yourself for comfort and reasoning to what you do.
Never be afraid to do that, it can get you through the hardest of times and make you realise that yes, it really is worth it.
- Aiden
Is it really worth it?
What I'm referring to here is, well, doing anything. Recently I've done exams and revision for my final GCSEs and the exams alone, for me, add up to around 20 hours of solid work so I dread to think what the figure is when you factor revision into it. It's fair to say, I reckon, that I've been doing a lot of work and, honestly, it's not easy. Fortunately for me I'm now at a point where I've got a week between now and one exam, so I'm taking this opportunity to relax for a bit while leisurely revising as opposed to tearing my hair out revising for 5 exams in just as many days. That's not to say that I've done nothing apart from revise and work.
Around the house I do the odd jobs that need doing, I wash up, I clean the bird, put out laundry, iron and try to tidy up in general. Obviously I don't do this every single day (well, the washing up I do most days) but I try to do at least one thing each day just because I feel I should. Admittedly I have my faults with housework, I may not do enough or I may not get around to everything as soon as my Mum wants it done, but I do it or I least make the plans to do it. That's a lot more than some teenagers I know do (none of my close friends, I hasten to add) and if I have plans to do it, but then someone does it before me, I personally don't regard that as a fault of mine. I could have done it the second I was told to and, when I can, I do, but the point of me planning to do something is because I can't do it there and then. It's constantly debatable whether I'm the wrong party or not in a situation like this, but that's digressing from my ensuing point.
The result of me not doing one thing that's asked of me as soon as it's asked of me, is that my parents get frustrated, angry and generally act unpleasant towards me for the day. I find that quite childish because I see it in this way, as biased as it may be: They've asked me to do a job for them, I've not got the time so I plan to do it later, they go ahead and do it themselves and then complain that I didn't do it. Surely if they were that bothered about having me do it, they'd let me do it as opposed to taking charge and doing it themselves before I've got the chance to. It's their reaction towards me afterwards that provokes the question:
Is it really worth it?
Is it really worth doing a job a day if, the one time I don't do a job, they turn on me? It doesn't seem that way.
Is it really worth doing all the work I do at school if at home it doesn't matter and no-one acknowledges it? It doesn't feel that way.
Is it really worth dealing with their reaction when I firmly believe I've done nothing wrong? No, it's not, which is why instead of arguing about it with them I'm pondering the wider implications of this question and letting them simmer down.
In previous posts I spoke about going with the flow and being who you truly want to be, so applying these messages to this question I think I can say this:
Is it really worth it? If it matters to you, yes. If you feel strongly about doing it and you want to do it, then yes. The work I do at school matters to me because I want to do well in life, so it's worth it. The jobs I do at home make me feel like I contribute and they do make an un-noticed difference, so it's worth it. It may seem self centered and/or self obsessed to have this opinion, but if you don't consider yourself and all you find is negativity to your answer...then sometimes you have to receed into yourself for comfort and reasoning to what you do.
Never be afraid to do that, it can get you through the hardest of times and make you realise that yes, it really is worth it.
- Aiden
Going Against The Flow
People have good intentions, that's something I try to acknowledge all the time. 'Good intentions' aren't always the best things for you though. Sometimes, to get what you want or to do the right thing for you, you have to go against people's intentions and wants of you as much as you, and they, may dislike it. This small revelation comes to me today after...well, I can't call it an argument because it wasn't, but it was an exchange of words between me and my Mother that made me realise this.
For a while now my career ambition has been Medicine and I've been very enthusiastic and determined about it. It's not the easiest of careers to get into though. Putting aside the AAB grades required at A level to do it, you also need do as much work experience, GP shadowing, weekend courses, volunteer work etc. as you can to show, basically, that you've made an informed decision and that you're in it for more than just money. That's important because when you've got people's lives in your hands you need to be motivated by selflessness and not money.
So I've been trying to organise volunteer work at a local hospital and, to do that, I had to name two referees that they would contact for references. The first reference was sent without a problem but the second took longer for a reason that I cannot fathom. After a while my second referee was contacted for a reference and he sent one off...but a month later I heard nothing from them and, after emailing, was informed that they had not received the reference. Putting aside my arguments of etiquette and common courtesy (because this blog isn't about that) I mentioned this situation to my Mother and she stated that 'If they didn't bother telling you they didn't have the reference, they're clearly not bothered'. It's a fair point to say, I admit, but the hospital scheme holds the power in this situation because of one simple thing: I need the experience, they don't need me. That's exactly what I said to my Mother and she replied that what I needed was money and a job that would get me it.
This moment was the realisation I had.
I'm not investing time into this volunteer place because I want to or because I like the way they're handling the situation, I'm doing it because I need the experience. It would be much nicer for me, I admit, to get a paying job at the weekend so I could have more money, I'd like that very much, but it's not going to get me any closer to realising my career dream.
So I've got to go against the flow. Go against the flow of my Mother, who wants me to get a paying job, and against the flow of my own desires to have more money. One day the tide will change and things will flow my way because I'll have the money that I need and I'll have a paying job that I love. Getting to that point will be the hard part and this is unlikely to be the first time that I'll need to go against the flow...but it's the first hurdle along the way at least.
Deeper thinking on this has, like with my other posts, led me to apply it to life in general and I've come to this conclusion:
Going with the flow can appease people and it can often be the easy way through life, but going against it can sometimes get you what you need even though it will be more difficult. In my opinion, putting in hard work to reap good benefits later is always the better option, which is why I'm happy to go against the flow for as long as it takes.
- Aiden
For a while now my career ambition has been Medicine and I've been very enthusiastic and determined about it. It's not the easiest of careers to get into though. Putting aside the AAB grades required at A level to do it, you also need do as much work experience, GP shadowing, weekend courses, volunteer work etc. as you can to show, basically, that you've made an informed decision and that you're in it for more than just money. That's important because when you've got people's lives in your hands you need to be motivated by selflessness and not money.
So I've been trying to organise volunteer work at a local hospital and, to do that, I had to name two referees that they would contact for references. The first reference was sent without a problem but the second took longer for a reason that I cannot fathom. After a while my second referee was contacted for a reference and he sent one off...but a month later I heard nothing from them and, after emailing, was informed that they had not received the reference. Putting aside my arguments of etiquette and common courtesy (because this blog isn't about that) I mentioned this situation to my Mother and she stated that 'If they didn't bother telling you they didn't have the reference, they're clearly not bothered'. It's a fair point to say, I admit, but the hospital scheme holds the power in this situation because of one simple thing: I need the experience, they don't need me. That's exactly what I said to my Mother and she replied that what I needed was money and a job that would get me it.
This moment was the realisation I had.
I'm not investing time into this volunteer place because I want to or because I like the way they're handling the situation, I'm doing it because I need the experience. It would be much nicer for me, I admit, to get a paying job at the weekend so I could have more money, I'd like that very much, but it's not going to get me any closer to realising my career dream.
So I've got to go against the flow. Go against the flow of my Mother, who wants me to get a paying job, and against the flow of my own desires to have more money. One day the tide will change and things will flow my way because I'll have the money that I need and I'll have a paying job that I love. Getting to that point will be the hard part and this is unlikely to be the first time that I'll need to go against the flow...but it's the first hurdle along the way at least.
Deeper thinking on this has, like with my other posts, led me to apply it to life in general and I've come to this conclusion:
Going with the flow can appease people and it can often be the easy way through life, but going against it can sometimes get you what you need even though it will be more difficult. In my opinion, putting in hard work to reap good benefits later is always the better option, which is why I'm happy to go against the flow for as long as it takes.
- Aiden
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