Relationships Revisited

If you’ve read a post of mine a few entries back then, I believe, it will mention a certain someone in my life that likes me and whom I like back. To update the gossips among you, we have decided to stay friends for now, though I feel that this is quickly changing and some of the conversations we’ve had as of late have led me to question relationships and my views on them.
To dive right in at the deep end we talked about sex. ‘Intercourse’, ‘shagging’, ‘the horizontal monster mash’, yes, sex. We weren’t talking about sex as if one of us had just said ‘So, Saturday night. How about it? ;)’ it wasn’t like that at all, it did come up in the conversation as a natural change of subject. I refuse to say what subject preluded it but it wasn’t anything sinister or bad. Anyway, we were talking about sex and this person said that just because we weren’t dating that sex wasn’t wrong and that it could even help. Confused, I asked how and their reply was that it could help start a proper relationship between us.
Now my view prior to this was that a relationship that started from sex would never be a lasting one and so it should not happen. I think that sex is a part of relationships…but it shouldn’t rule it and a relationship should not be purely about it. It can be nice, I admit, but my fear is that if a relationship became too focussed on it then it will ultimately amount to nothing. Afterwards, though, I started to ponder my views on relationships as well as what this person had said and I came to a few conclusions.
First, that my views on relationships weren’t necessarily ‘right’. Every person, situation and relationship is different and what works for me and one individual might be completely different to what works between me and a second individual. So I thought that perhaps having strict, set rules or views towards relationships wasn’t the best attitude. Looking at it from this point of view I managed to justify it: I’m young and I don’t know everything about relationships including what’s the best or the worst ways to start them. With that in mind how can I have strict, set views so early on? My conclusion was that I should perhaps be more easy going and open minded about these kinds of things because I’ve never experienced them before and, well, they could be good for all I know.
My second realisation was that sex wouldn’t really be the start of a relationship between the two of us. It might help to directly pinpoint when a romantic relationship ‘officially’ started but we’ve been friends for a while now, which is a form of relationship, and for the past few weeks there has been the awareness between each other of how we feel. So although sex might be a way to physically pin point when the romantic part of a relationship begins, we’ve been ‘dating’ in a way for the past few weeks since we knew of each other’s feelings and we’ve been friends that have enjoyed each other’s company for a few months before that.
I’m not under any assumptions or impressions that a relationship with this person will last forever because people and things change and I can’t predict the future (if I could I wouldn’t be writing a blog, that much I know!)… but I would always prefer a longer relationship to a shorter one and I really like this person. What’s preferable or ideal is not always an option though, so whatever happens between me and them will happen however it does. I can hope, want and wish as much as I like but only time will tell. It may amount to nothing or it may amount to something… but it seems that time will give me my answer soon enough.

- Aiden