In the past few months I've received a lot of abuse from a lot of 'brave' people (or maybe just one) via anonymous formspring questions over things that I've done and, as much as the things I've done are bad (which I am aware of), do I really deserve the abuse that I'm getting for them?
In life we're always told to avoid doing bad things, they give you a bad name and can spoil things for you in the future and that makes sense. It's logical and it plays things safe. I feel myself, yet, drawn to another message that society sends out: No-one's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes in life, some bigger than others and some that are more long-reaching than others, but just because people do bad things, does that make them a bad person? Not necessarily, in my eyes.
The title of this blog refers to a Lady Gaga song (from her new album Born This Way, if you're interested, buy it as soon as you can [/advertising]) that deals with the message that I'm talking about. Throughout the song, the lyrics tell of various things people have done (fans, specifically, this song was inspired by them and their experiences) that make them 'Bad Kids': 'My parents tried until they got divorced 'cause I ruined their lives', 'I chew gum and smoke in your face, I'm absurd' and 'I'm a selfish punk who really should be smacked' among other things are what make up a 'Bad Kid' in this context, but then the chorus preaches a message to these bad kids, one that's almost synonymous with my own:
'Don't feel insecure if you're heart is pure, you're still good to me if you're a bad kid'.
I came to interpret that as:
'You shouldn't feel ashamed or that you're a terrible person for the bad things that you've done. If you know you've done wrong, if you truly felt bad for doing it then that means you're not a bad person and you'll always be a good person to me, despite the fact you've done things that aren't right.'
To be honest, I wish that were a sentiment that more people carried, it's one that I try to carry with me whenever I can because I can sympathise with it. I only hope that the people that are, hypocritically perhaps, sending me abuse for doing bad things also see things in this way very soon because the abuse is becoming very tiresome to go through.
I agree that it's a sentiment that people should at least consider, but equally, I think it's important that it shouldn't be an excuse for people doing things they know are wrong. Personally, I think it's hard to continue looking at someone as a good person despite what they've done if they make no effort to make up for what they've done, acknowledge that it was wrong or just try to be a good person (I'm not talking about you, before you think I am, I'm being general). I think people telling others that they're still a good person to them, even when they've done wrong, can easily lead to that person believing that doing wrong is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteIn other news - me, Fern and Eliza were plotting fancy dress for your birthday earlier and came up with...nothing. It's gonna be a long search... ;P
I can see what you're saying, but to me if someone continually does bad things then that doesn't make them a good person that does bad things, so much as just a bad person.
ReplyDeleteIt's an awkward line to draw, I think.
I would never think that doing bad things is good, I wouldn't ever glorify doing it, but no-one's perfect and I think that good people have the capacity to- and, because they're human, inevitably will- do bad things.
Good people will most likely attempt to make up for what they've done and/or regret it, they'll learn and genuinely regret what they've done.